He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
