its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
