At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
