so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
