i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
