How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
