Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
