I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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