Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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