Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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