I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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