Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
