Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize
