white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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