I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
