kristin has been a bad kristin
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
