1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
PANTIES FOUND
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