ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
