can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
