Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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