There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have aggressive nipples.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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