I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
