If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
how does that bad decision feel?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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