You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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