Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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