how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
