I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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