Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
