why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
