I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am available for nakedness
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
