he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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