Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize