it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
