I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
