she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
