Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
