Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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