I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
