It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
