u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
