I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
These tits shall not be calmed
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
