She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
