Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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