We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
