OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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