dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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