their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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