i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
