what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
