my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
