I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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