Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
