Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
