ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
