all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
