Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
