I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
