I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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