I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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